


The Neon Light of Us

by alittlebriton



Series: Shadowhunters Codas [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Fix-It, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Up, Post-Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Reconciliation, Reconciliation Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:45:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebriton/pseuds/alittlebriton
Summary: At some point, Magnus and Alec have to talk. It's just, Alec doesn't quite know how.“I’m nervous,” Magnus admitted eventually. Alec reached down and found his hands and squeezed them.“I’m not.” He waited until Magnus looked at him again, and shook his head. “I’m not nervous, Magnus. Not about us. Never about us.”The look on Magnus’ face was almost awestruck, his dark eyes contemplating Alec’s until he shook his head, brushing Alec’s hair off his forehead.“You’re so sure,” he marveled. “So sure. And it’s not like I’m not sure, about us, about you, don’t get me wrong, but. I sometimes can’t believe you’re this sure about me.”





	The Neon Light of Us

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year!
> 
> Thank you so much to @bumblebeesknees for the encouragement on this.
> 
> This has been such a long time in the writing. I hit a massive smut block and I still don't know if I'm happy with how this turned out in terms of the make-up sex, but I'm super happy with the rest of it! This is how I squared their fights and their issues in my head.

Alec brushed his nose against his neck and Magnus giggled, trying to swerve away. "Are you trying to get me to trip over?"

"Nope. Smelling you. Wait, is that weird?" Alec pulled back and looked at him, concerned. "Oh my god, am I the weirdo in our relationship?" The words spilled out before his brain caught up and he mentally stumbled, frozen with his own presumption.

"I don't think we have a baseline for normal, Alexander," Magnus grinned, looping his arm back around Alec's waist, as if Alec assuming they were back in a relationship before they actually talked about it was fine. As if they didn’t even _need_ to talk about it. As if nothing had ever been wrong in the first place.

They walked in almost-companionable silence together, touching as close as they could without getting in each other's way. Alec toyed with the suspenders falling from Magnus’ waist, wrapping his fingers in them as if he could keep Magnus from leaving again that way, a thought so pathetic he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his own behaviour. It was nice, though – more than nice, relieving, tremendous, undreamt of – to be this close again, to see the corners of Magnus’ mouth curl up because of him again, because of them.

Magnus paused as they approached the intersection that led them home and Alec looked at him, confused. Their usual way home was to turn right, but Magnus seemed to hover in place with a small shoulder shimmy, uncertain.

“What’s wrong?” His first thought was the Edomai and he cursed himself for not having brought his bow with him, automatically shifting his weight onto his back foot in case of attack. But Magnus was looking at him, not around them.

Magnus rolled his lips together. “Do you.. want to go somewhere else? Get another drink perhaps?”

Alec shook his head, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, his mouth dry. He couldn’t read Magnus’ expression in the light of the streetlamp, and that scared him more than those demons ever could.

“No. I want to go home with you. That’s ok, isn’t it?”

Magnus’ face lightened and he nodded, stepping closer again. He lifted his hand to smooth away the wrinkle on Alec’s forehead and smiled gently at him.

“Oh, of course, angel. I didn’t want to presume…” 

Alec blinked at him, feeling unbalanced. When Magnus raised one eyebrow at him, he shook himself out of it.

“Ok. Yeah,” he nodded, setting off again down the sidewalk. Only when Magus bumped his arm with his shoulder and then twined his fingers between Alec’s, did he allow himself to relax again, slowing his pace.

“Besides, I can always mix a perfectly wonderful martini at mine, although never tell Maia that.” Magnus gestured airily with one hand and Alec felt so grateful that Magnus was at least trying to make this feel like it was normal. That they were them again.

“Wonderful for _you_ , perhaps,” he managed to tease after a moment.  

"You really hate my drinks, don't you?" Magnus asked mildly. 

"They mostly taste like lighter fluid."

"And how would you know that?"

They looked at each other, Alec struggling to contain a smile, and said at the same time: "Jace," and burst out laughing.  

"Of course," Magnus said. "We'll find you something you like."

Alec made a face. "I don't feel I'm missing out." He risked another familiar gesture and pulled Magnus in to press a kiss on the side of his head.  

“You like champagne. And we should celebrate.”

He stopped Magnus with one hand on his shoulder, pulling him around. “Magnus. I’m fine. I don’t want to drink. I want to remember everything about tonight.” He watched Magnus swallow, his dark eyes flitting from Alec’s face to his chest and then focusing somewhere over his shoulder.

“I’m nervous,” Magnus admitted eventually. Alec reached down and found his hands and squeezed them. 

“I’m not.” He waited until Magnus looked at him again, and shook his head. “I’m not nervous, Magnus. Not about us. Never about us.”

The look on Magnus’ face was almost awestruck, his dark eyes contemplating Alec’s until he shook his head, brushing Alec’s hair off his forehead.

“You’re so sure,” he marveled. “So sure. And it’s not like I’m _not_ sure, about us, about _you_ , don’t get me wrong, but. I sometimes can’t believe you’re this sure about _me_.” 

“You’re the only thing I’ve felt this sure about in my life,” Alec said honestly, lifting one shoulder in a shrug, frowning because it sounded like Magnus was confused about this when he thought he’d been clear. Loving Magnus was something incontrovertible, something ingrained in him, that could be weathered and abraded but that would never crumble. But Magnus’ eyes were still guarded.

“I’m an immortal warlock with demons, literal and otherwise in my past.”

“Well yeah, but I guess that’s just my type,” Alec gave him a crooked grin as Magnus huffed surprised laughter into the air, his arms wrapping around himself.  

“C’mon.” Alec tilted his head. “Let’s go home. The quick way, if you need that drink.”

Magnus stared at him for a long time, searching his face until he clearly found – or didn’t find – what he was looking for, and nodded, just once, before raising one hand and swirling a portal into life in front of them. Alec didn’t even blink before he stepped through it and found himself in Magnus’ living room – or the remnants of it. He felt Magnus follow him and instinctively held his arms out behind him to protect Magnus from any danger still in the loft.

“Magnus, what happened? Is everyone ok?”

Magnus peered around Alec and then had the grace to look sheepish. "Oh. Well. When Luke called me about the Seelie Queen I might have over-reacted." He raised his hand to fiddle with his ear-cuff.

Alec let out a low whistle, looking around at the chaos. Furniture was up-ended, glass littering the floor and feathers covering most of the carpet when cushions had clearly exploded. "You think?"

"It's fine. It's mostly repairable." Magnus started to summon his magic, twirling his fingers but Alec stopped him, clasping his hand around Magnus’. 

He looked up at Alec questioningly. 

"Later?" he asked, wincing at how lame the request sounded. “I mean, I just think this isn’t the most important thing in this loft right now.”

"I suppose you want to talk," Magnus said, nodding, not looking at Alec and crossing his arms back over his chest. 

"Not if you don't want to?" Alec hated how unsure his voice sounded. He knew they had to, he wasn’t going to just ignore all of the hurt he’d felt, but… in the soft light of Magnus’ loft, it felt less important than before. "I mean, at some point, yes. At the moment I just want to hold you."

Magnus looked up at him, his brow furrowed, and then simply opened his arms. Alec stepped in and wrapped his arms around him with a satisfied sigh, holding him close and burying his nose in his neck. He could feel Magnus' breath at the base of his throat, warm and tickling, fast like the beat of his heart in his own chest. 

“You’re safe,” he said, tightening his arms. “I was so worried when I saw the angel. I could barely think because of Jace and I was still so panicked you were about to be… erased or something, right in front of me.”

“But I’m ok, darling,” Magnus murmured against his skin and not moving away from the embrace.

“You should have portaled away and gone to the Seelie Realm to be safe.”

He could feel Magnus frown.

“I don’t know how safe I would have been in the Seelie Realm.” He sighed and pulled back, still keeping his hands on Alec’s arms, his eyes fixed on Alec’s chest. “She betrayed us. She betrayed us all. I trusted her because she cannot lie. I forgot that she would twist that trust to her own advantage immediately.”

“The Clave is going to have to deal with her.”

“To know that a fellow Downworlder would betray others just to be able to rule… the Clave might have to get in line.” He finally met Alec’s eyes.

“I trusted the wrong people out of hurt pride and long-held grudges,” Magnus admitted, his face twisting away like he was afraid of what Alec would say to that. So he said the first thing that came to mind.

“I invited Jonathan into the Institute and put him in charge of security.” Yeah, as transgressions went, that was a fairly epic one he could lay at his own feet. Magnus’ face lightened ever so slightly, and he raised his head up.

“I ignored my friends’ advice and got Maia kidnapped,” he countered.

“Jonathan killed nine Shadowhunters and nearly killed my little brother.” Alec snorted. “Seriously. If we’re comparing bad judgment, I feel I’m going to have you beat.”

“I think it’s a tie,” Magnus suggested with a small smile.

“Wait, Maia got kidnapped?”

Magnus waved his hand dismissively.

“Not for long. Simon and Luke handled it. I didn’t.” A cloud passed over his features. “I haven’t been handling a lot of things, recently.”

Alec made a small pained noise and cupped Magnus’ face.

“You’ve been through a lot. Things that I put you through. Things that my people put you through. You’re human, Magnus. You can’t be strong all the time. You taught me that.”

He blinked at Alec and stepped in closer, tipping his head and reaching up to press a soft kiss to his mouth, softer even than the one they shared outside the Hunter’s Moon. Alec ran his thumb down Magnus’ neck and pressed in closer until they were trading kisses close enough to feel the thud of each other’s hearts beneath their skin, until Alec could feel the tense line of Magnus’ shoulders drop into something resembling peace.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said abruptly, and pulled away to stare over Alec's shoulder. "I mean, I'm sorry I hurt you." He finally dragged his gaze to Alec’s and the dark shame Alec saw there nearly took his breath away. He wanted to erase it, his first instinct to tell Magnus it was all ok – anything to fix this. But that wouldn’t fix it, not really. And he’d promised that he’d be honest with Magnus, in all things.

"You're forgiven," he started. "I know you didn't hurt me on purpose." 

"But?" Magnus prompted.

Alec half smiled. Magnus knew him too well. 

"But it was a horrid feeling. To think that you could give up on us that easily. That I - we - weren't worth the effort."  He held Magnus' gaze until Magnus looked away and took a deep breath.  

"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. That definitely wasn't my intention. I couldn't separate how betrayed I felt because of you from how betrayed I feel because of the Clave."

Alec winced. "I'm so-"

"I know you are." Magnus held up his fingers to stop him, and smiled gently at him. "And I know why you did it. And I can tell you understand why I reacted like that." Alec nodded, swallowing.  

“Which means I forgive you for that. And I do, truly. So that's one item off our list."

"There's a list?" Alec look confused.

"I'm a warlock. I'm going to outlive most people I know, and I've already been around since the end of the Tudors. Of course I have a list of hurts and wrongs done by all parties that I keep meticulously up to date." Magnus flashed him a grin and Alec couldn't help but laugh in response. 

"Can we cross everything off our list please?"

Magnus fell silent again and stepped closer, cupping Alec's face on his palm. Alec held his breath, his stomach twisting. 

"Only if you do truly forgive me for breaking your heart and making you feel like that."

Alec looked at him, swallowing, searching Magnus' eyes for some kind of reassurance, allowing himself to show the doubt he felt in his own heart. 

"Am I?" he asked finally in a gravelly voice. "Am I enough for you?"

Magnus closed his eyes and took in a breath. When he opened them again, tears spilled down his cheeks. 

"I hate that I brought us to the point where you have to ask that. I love you, Alexander. Yesterday, now, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. You are enough, yes. You are my everything."

Alec drew a shuddering breath and blinked rapidly, feel heat flare under his skin. He felt like he did when Jace would drag him away in Idris to explore the woods, standing on the top of a precipice looking down just before jumping. He couldn't speak. Instead he licked his lip and gently pressed his mouth to Magnus' again, trying to pour all the love he had into it.

Magnus inhaled sharply and then melted against Alec’s chest, pushing his hand under Alec’s shirt and making him shudder, feeling the curl of his tongue slide over his own. Angel, he’d missed this.

“I missed you,” he murmured before kissing Magnus again, his fingers gripping harder in the soft fabric of Magnus’ jacket, only allowing himself the space to breathe when he could hear the soft murmurs from Magnus’ throat as well as feel them.

Alec swallowed when he saw Magnus’ eyes – his real eyes, the soft glow of the lamp tricking them into fiery gold. His skin was chilled but he felt like he was burning up from the inside, sense memory from the first kiss they’d shared in the living room of the loft. He dropped his hands and slowly peeled back the velvet of Magnus’ jacket at his right wrist, and raised his hand to press a kiss to the soft thin skin there, not dropping his gaze.

Magnus shivered.

Alec curved his mouth over his wrist and moved his lips further up. “You’re beautiful.” He watched Magnus’ Adam’s Apple jerk as he swallowed and then Magnus flicked his fingers and slowly the fabric on his arm began disappearing, erased into nothingness while still on his body, leaving only bare flesh behind.

Alec’s eyes widened and then he laughed, a short laugh, before kissing his forearm. “And talented.” Another kiss. “And stubborn.”

He’d reached Magnus’ elbow and he allowed the tip of his tongue to dip into the crease there before pressing his lips to it. “And infuriating.” He watched as Magnus’ mouth twitched into a small smile. 

“Wonderful. And wondrous.” Alec bit gently at his bicep and was rewarded with a slight flutter of Magnus’ eyelashes.

“Surprising.” He grazed his mouth up to the curve of his shoulder and licked over his collarbone. “And delightful.”

He finally raised his head, running both his hands over Magnus’ broad naked back, feeling the familiar shift of muscles as the embrace was reciprocated.

“And mine,” he finished lightly, brushing his mouth over Magnus’, and then made an undignified noise when Magnus surged up on the balls of his feet to kiss him harder, feeling the sting of his scalp as he gripped Alec’s hair tight to hold him into it. His nails scraped over Magnus’ skin and he felt rather than heard Magnus growl before he sucked Alec’s lip between his sharp teeth and bit down.

“Fuck,” Alec swore and Magnus pulled back, looking rumpled and flushed.

“Did I hurt you?”

Alec raised one eyebrow, feeling giddy, like he’d drunk champagne after all.

“Did you want to?”

Magnus choked for a moment, coughing on air. “Angel above.” He shook his head in wonder and blinked at him, and then started to drag Alec to his room. Alec stumbled over his own feet until he caught up with what was going on and then shrugged off his jacket, throwing it on the chair in the corner of Magnus’ room.

“Neat trick, by the way.” Alec’s hands fell to Magnus’s waistband as soon as he was inside his room, trying to slide the door shut behind him with one foot, fumbling with Magnus’ zip until he managed to ease it down, his fingertips brushing at the soft silk of the underwear Magnus preferred. 

“Which one?” Magnus snapped his fingers impatiently – though how he managed to convey that in a gesture, Alec never figured out -  and banished his clothes and Alec took a moment to look, ignoring his question in favour of watching the way he moved, unselfconscious and, in fact, preening a little under Alec’s gaze. It was enough to remind him that this was his again, desire freely given and returned. That he’d been forgiven.

“Um. Oh, the vanished clothing one – the slow version. Not your click to be naked one, though that’s also, um, you know -” He cut himself off by leaning in to kiss him sloppily as he divested himself of the rest of his clothing and toed off his boots, tasting the small giggles Magnus kept issuing as he held Alec steady by his shoulders.

“I wasn’t sure I remembered how,” Magnus said, looping his arm around Alec’s neck and hauling him down on top of him, bouncing on the mattress and grinning up at him with such joy Alec couldn’t speak for a few seconds. He trailed his fingertips over the lines at the corner of Magnus’ eyes, his gaze flicking between gold and the pink of his mouth, before he leaned down to kiss him, soft until it suddenly wasn’t, all tongue and teeth and the inability to breathe.

Magnus made a soft humming sound and hooked his ankle around Alec’s calf, burying his long fingers in Alec’s hair the way Alec liked it, a gesture so familiar Alec hadn’t been aware he’d missed it until then. It made him hesitate for a second but Magnus tightened his arms – and then he allowed himself to sink into the feeling of his body, strong and sure underneath him, the slow slide of his tongue in Alec’s mouth, dirty and insistent, sensations wrapping over each other as their hands mapped whatever skin they could reach. He could feel Magnus hard in the groove of his hip, the already-wet head of his cock sticking and dragging over his skin as they moved and Alec shuddered and ground down, making Magnus arch underneath him with a moan.

“Magnus,” Alec warned, mouthing at his exposed neck and licking over the chains looped around it, the taste of metal and salt merging on his tongue. “Magnus.” He had no idea what he was warning Magnus about, or asking him, he only knew he felt more grounded when he said his name and heard Magnus’ breath hitch in response.

There was the faint click of a cap then the tang of the lube Magnus liked in the air, and then he allowed himself to get lost in the smell of him, the warmth of Magnus’ palms stroking over slick skin and between his legs. Magnus’ hands circled and slid with his usual confidence while he himself fumbled inelegantly, trying to match him, until Alec gave up with fond laughter and simply rolled on top of him so they could rut together, figuring that neither of them seemed that willing to stop for actual prep.

“Ok?” he asked breathily, and Magnus nodded in response. “More than.” He scratched his nails at Alec’s hip, which was playing dirty as far as Alec was concerned, making him shudder and moan low in his throat. He wrapped one hand around the both of them and let them thrust into the heat of his hand, Magnus’ coming to join his, the coolness of his jewelry a wonderful counterpoint to the heat building in Alec’s stomach. He didn’t want to stop kissing Magnus, but he soon wasn’t so much kissing him as panting into his mouth and nipping his lip when he could, one hand curling round one of the bedposts to steady him. 

Magnus latched onto Alec’s neck with his mouth and bit lightly where his Deflect rune curved to his jaw and his orgasm hit him without warning, suddenly shaking apart with a surprised groan, all air pushed out of him as he tensed, toes curled in the sheets. Magnus made a strangled noise and pulled their joined hands around his cock, squeezing tight as he thrust up again and again and Alec opened his eyes to watch as he arched off the bed, his head thrown back, mouth slack with pleasure as he came over his own stomach.

“Nngh,” Alec managed, shaking his hand free from how tightly Magnus had been holding it so he could push himself clumsily down the sheets to lick at Magnus’ come – and his own, he supposed, but he didn’t really care – and softly sucked the head of Magnus’ cock in his mouth to taste him. He still wasn’t the biggest fan of the texture but he liked how Magnus’ tasted – earthy and saltsweet – and he was an even bigger fan of the noises it coaxed out of Magnus, moans and near-growls as he threaded his fingers in Alec’s hair as he licked Magnus clean.

“Alexander,” he pleaded and Alec took pity on him and pushed himself up so they could trade messy kisses, entangled so that Alec couldn’t tell where he ended and Magnus began. He let Magnus roll him back onto the mattress and clean them both with magic, drawing the covers up over them and then wrapped himself around Alec, whispering how much he loved him while Alec’s eyes fell closed, suddenly exhausted from the day.

Alec fell asleep like that, in-between one kiss and the next, entwined with Magnus in a comfortably familiar knot of limbs, Magnus’ gleaming smile, the one Alec always thought made him look like some swashbuckling pirate from the books he used to read, the last thing he saw.

 

Alec blinked his eyes open in the weak light of the morning to find Magnus already watching him with a small curve to his mouth. It took him a moment before his brain caught up with this, and then he laughed, rolling over properly to face him, disregarding morning breath and the twinge of familiar aches in his thighs and hips.

“How long have you creepily been watching me sleep?” 

Magnus shrugged with one shoulder unselfconsciously as he hoisted his leg over Alec’s hip.

“Not long. I’m surprised I woke before you.”

“Maybe someone tired me out,” he said archly, not meaning a word. He’d never begrudge the feeling of Magnus stirring beside him in the middle of the night and straddling him so they could move together in the dark, magic slicking his cock so Magnus could inch himself down onto him, nothing but the glint of his eyes and the heat of his skin to distract Alec from feeling how close they were. “I’m perfectly happy to go back to sleep, you know.”

Magnus raised a perfect eyebrow and Alec gave into the temptation to kiss it. “You don’t have anywhere to be?”

“Raziel, I hope not.” Alec grinned and wriggled back into the warmth of Magnus’ body. “Everyone else is probably too hungover to miss us anyway.” 

“Well then.” Magnus hid his smile in Alec’s shoulder and then kissed it. “A few more minutes?” 

“We could even stretch to an hour.” The answering beam he got was worth the bolt of guilt at not getting back to Izzy and Jace just yet.

Alec allowed himself to doze with the grin still on his face and wasn’t surprised when he woke a little later with Magnus sprawled out, his face smushed into the pillows. He kissed his shoulder blade and slid out from underneath him, Magnus murmuring but then going back to sleep. He took a shower and pulled on his jeans from the night before, hunting for his t-shirt before finding a clean one folder on a chair, along with a sweater. Things he’d left and never once thought to ask for back, because… well, because he always thought – hoped – he wouldn’t have to.

He pushed that thought away and rooted around the kitchen for coffee and his favourite mug, and was halfway through his second piece of toast before Magnus padded sleepily into the kitchen behind him, wrapped in a silk robe and nothing else. A flick of his fingers and a steaming mug of tea appeared on the counter.

“Mmmm,” Magnus hummed as one hand curled round the cup and the other curled round Alec’s waist, rising up to thread his fingers in his chest hair, his palm over his heart and his chin on Alec’s shoulder. “Good morning. Again.”

“Good morning,” he grinned goofily back even if Magnus couldn’t see him, wrapping one hand behind him to squeeze the back of Magnus’ thigh.

“Mmmm.” Magnus pressed a kiss into Alec’s shoulder and stepped around him to pay more attention to his tea.

“I missed this,” he continued, and then stiffened as if he hadn’t meant to say that. Alec chose to ignore it.

“Well, you don’t have to miss it again. I’m going to make sure of that.”

“Alexander… “ Magnus began to chide him and then hesitated and Alec’s stomach twisted again. It must have shown on his face because Magnus’ expression changed.

“Oh, no you don’t. I know that look.” Magnus warned him, setting his cup down. “That’s your ‘shouldering the blame’ look. This isn’t all on you. We went through this yesterday.”

Alec raised one shoulder in a shrug. “I guess. I just. Want you to not be nervous about us like you were last night.” 

It was Magnus’ turn to look bashful, averting his eyes and shifting his weight. Alec gave him a pointed look and lightly kicked his foot, getting him to turn back to him. He took a breath, and ran headlong in the fear.

“Don’t clam up on me now, Magnus. C’mon. Are you gonna tell me what you were so worried about?” 

Magnus’s gaze slid away from Alec’s and fixed on a spot on the floor.

“I was… uncertain -“, he stopped short and wrinkled his nose, wrapping his arms around himself. “No, that won’t do. I was _terrified_ that I’d damaged us too much. That you would never trust me again and always hold me at arms-length, waiting for me to mess up again. Or worse, somehow – waiting for me to punish you in the callous way I punished you this time. I was afraid I’d tainted us, and I could not bear that.”

The look he gave Alec was imploring and Alec instinctively stepped closer and delicately peeled his arms away from his body so he could hold his hands. He searched for the right words to reassure him, wincing because he knew he still had to be honest. 

“I don’t know if I won’t be… afraid of this happening again, or afraid that you might give up on us again. But I promise to keep trying to _not_ be afraid.”

Nothing he was saying was making the frown on Magnus’ face go away, nor the pain in his eyes, so Alec clung onto his hands tighter.

“I promise to talk to you if I do feel that fear, and I will do anything and everything to make us right.”

Magnus’ expression did something complicated and he shook his head slightly.

“No, my darling, this is not on you alone. I promise to do everything I can to not make you afraid in the first place. I won’t walk away, Alexander, not again. I will always listen to you and talk things out. And I promise not to pretend you don’t exist.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. “So I’m not going to have a door slammed in my face again?”

Magnus grimaced and hung his head, shaking it ruefully. “No. Not again.”

Alec’s mouth twitched.

“It was almost a relief, you know. You’re a very patient and understanding person most of the time and that can drive a guy nuts.”

Magnus startled into laughter, turning wide eyes to Alec, his mouth agape. “What?”

“You’re normally all wise and forgiving and have your immortal perspective on things. Which is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but it was kinda nice to see you be… I don’t know, more human.”

Magnus rallied. “Well, I shall slam doors in your face more often then.”

"No, that sucked." Alec flashed him a grin.

He raised his eyebrows. "That sucked?" he echoed. "What are you, twelve?"

"Oh, I don't know, Magnus," Alec retorted with a gleam in his eye. "Why don't you say 'duh' again for me?"

Magnus gaped at him for a few seconds and then started to laugh, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry." He waved his hand at Alec while turning away from him to cover his mirth. Alec just crossed his arms and grinned at him. He’d missed the way Magnus laughed.

"No, don't be, it took everything I had not to laugh. Well. If there hadn't been demon hoards and Valentine on the loose."

“And if I hadn’t been acting like an asshole.” He started to turn back to Alec and Alec was glad to see the haunted look had left his eyes.

Alec made a face. “You were. It’s ok. I deserved some of it.” 

“Not all of it, darling. But it was the only way I could maintain some distance.”

“Well, thank Raziel _that_ didn’t work.” 

Magnus slid closer to Alec and looked serious so Alec put down his coffee cup and paid attention. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had actually pushed you away. Perhaps that’s why I did it. Because I knew, deep down, you wouldn’t stop loving me that easily.”

Alec cupped his face, his thumb brushing the sharpness of his cheekbone. “I don’t know how anyone ever could stop loving you.”

Magnus’ eyes were soft and regretful. “Many have, Alexander. People want someone to grow old with. To have a family with. Most can’t bear the burden of my long life.”

Alec searched for the right words, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth while he collected his thoughts, Magnus’ face growing more drawn as the seconds ticked by.

“I,” he started, and swallowed. “I’m a Shadowhunter. It’s rare if we reach thirty. I don’t know about growing old with you, Magnus, I’ve never allowed myself to see that far ahead.” Magnus moved as if to pull away, looking hurt, but Alec held his wrist tight.

“Magnus, I want to be with you for as long as my life allows me to. If that’s a few more day, or years, or decades, then I’m going to take it. You don’t have to be grey alongside me for me to know that you’re it for me. You’re… it.” He shrugged, his eloquence running out.

Magnus swallowed, blinking with watery eyes. “Well. For a man of action you always seem to have a way with words.”

“You inspire me, maybe.”

“Are you going to write sonnets to my beauty?”

“No.” Alec smiled, relieved to hear the lightness return to Magnus’ tone. “But I promise to tell you I love you every day. Is that good enough?”

“More than,” Magnus promised and drew him close again, licking into his mouth with a sigh that tasted of peppermint tea and satisfaction. Alec hummed and parted from him reluctantly, his hands squeezing Magnus’ biceps as if they couldn’t bear to stop touching him. His eyes flicked to the clock on the wall before he picked up his coffee cup and drained the remaining liquid.

Magnus’s shoulders stiffened.

“I suppose you have to get going,” he said in a deceptively airy voice, trailing his fingers round the rim of his own cup and not looking at Alec. “I would imagine there’s things in Idris to sort out. Other Circle members to unearth. Will you text me when you think you’ll be back?”

Alec frowned, confused by Magnus’ assumption and ducked his head to try to catch his eye.

“If you want. Um, I thought that maybe you’d come with me. But you probably have things to do, Downworlder Council stuff.”

Magnus raised his head and looked at him incredulously.

“You want me to come with you?” 

Alec bit his lip, worried he’d said the wrong thing, or misread the situation. He reached out with his hand and tangled their fingers together, stroking his thumb over the palm of Magnus’ hand. 

“Well, yeah. Partly because you’re you, you know, with all your High Warlockness, but also because… I don’t really want to be apart from you right now. You don’t have to – I’d like it, though, but, I um, I don’t want to overstep or get in your way. Is  - is that too much?”

A small smile spread over Magnus’ face and Alec couldn’t help but echo it when he’d finally stopped rambling, his heart rising in his chest.

“No, my darling. No, I don’t think that’s too much to ask at all.”


End file.
